Whether you like it or not, and whether you asked for it or not, you’re going to get other people’s opinions. And then, of course, you’re going to give yours in return, right?
Of course you are.
And of course there are some out there that demand the other person see it their way or it’s deemed that there’s something wrong with him or her.
Is it really that important that everyone responds to what you say positively or in exactly the same way?
An opinion is personal, it’s the way we express our thoughts and feelings towards anyone and anything. Opinions are not about the definition or description of the object (i.e., the car is a red Volkswagen Beetle), it’s about our subjective appreciation of the object (i.e., it’s a fun car and people who drive that kind of car are very cool, etc.).
Opinions may be unique to you or me alone or vastly shared across the general population, but they all have one thing in common… they cannot be verified outside the fact that you or I believe them.
And honestly… isn’t everything you and I say an opinion? I mean we don’t really know anything for sure in this world, do we? As soon as we “define” something then that basically becomes our opinion, right?
“Opinions don’t affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you’re rational.” ~Ricky Gervais
Ok, then should we have an opinion about everything?
It’s not that we should or shouldn’t have opinions. There’s no rule about having opinions. Opinions aren’t “wrong”… maybe different… but not wrong. We’re all unique beings and that’s why our feelings, lives, and thoughts are so different.
Opinions are created as a response to something that stimulates our mind. We come across new information – by reading a book, seeing something on the news, meeting a new person – and we subconsciously make up a first opinion. We compare this new piece of information with the things we learned and experienced in the past and then our brain automatically categorizes this information in order to store it and remember it.
We all form opinions for different reasons.
Some are struggling to convince themselves that they have a good grasp of their environment and others are trying to relate to their peers. Maybe it’s to seem smart and educated… I don’t know… But I do know that a lot of times people want to share opinions to prove something to others. The challenge with that idea, often, is that opinions are subjective. Sometimes, the act of trying to “prove” something becomes confrontational because many times we cannot “prove” something that is subjective, and the other person may want to “prove” their subjective idea as well.
Everyone doesn’t always share the same opinions.
Many people immediately turn their opinion(s) into strong unfounded beliefs and try to shove them down someone’s throat. Trying to force personal opinions onto others typically does not create a situation where the strongly opinionated one doing the shoving is thought of as very cool or inspiring at the moment. If the other person has a strong (subjective) opinion, why not talk to him/her about the variance and see where the disconnect is? But don’t do it with the underlying notion of “let’s discover why you’re completely wrong and how we can fix that.” Most people won’t sign up for that.
Getting riled up is not worth any short-term verbal victory.
Personally, I believe that anyone that gets angry in a disagreement on opinions and converts that into attacks on others or turns to name-calling wastes energy. Mature and engaging people don’t do this. They save their arguments for very rare important occasions where they want to make a point, and even then, they avoid getting themselves wrapped up in a tense situation or all fired up, and they don’t lash out by degrading another person/group.
It’s very difficult to have patience with this kind of unreasonableness in others. Being unreasonable does not belong in friendly personal relations and it does not create an environment where people can enjoy an opportunity to connect with others (and yes, this is my opinion, not a fact).
“The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.” ~William Blake
Some things should be said because they enrich, inform, and liberate.
Sometimes questioning and debating opinions bring so much to light. But it also takes a little wisdom to know when to speak up and when to zip our lips.
Hey, we’re all entitled to have our opinions and to share them with the world. But then, in turn, why not respect others’ beliefs and ways of thinking, being ready and willing to listen and to let our opinions evolve… and possibly even learn something new?
And there you have my opinion on opinions… for what it’s worth. Feel free to share your opinion on my opinion on opinions!